Update and some brooding...

Another day, another post, another update. Nothing much going on except I'm pretty brooding at the moment. A little catchup first though. 

Bristol sent another email on preparation for the interview, work experience form and some other general information. 

Glasgow finally finally acknowledged my application and I can rest in peace with the thought that all my applications have reached.

Nottingham has a representative in India who will be attending some fairs and I'll be going to one of them to ask questions and stuff. 

Now, my brooding. 

I have a question. An eternal question. Why do people feel the need to be recognized or awarded by others? Okay I understand wanting your close friends or family to be proud of you but I'm pretty sure if you're a great person they'll know anyway. 

It puzzles me how much people fight for awards or certificates in school. So what if you're popular in school? So what if people know you? That doesn't mean they like you or respect you. Everybody knew who Bin Laden was but was he respected? He thought what he was doing was right I'm pretty sure. 

This being said of course I understand that if you do something you love and you're rewarded for it its a great feeling also, I admit I would never turn down an award even if I thought I didn't deserve it. But WHY do I feel this way? Is it society? Is it me? Is it the need to stand out amongst so many? 

Then of course the fact that everybody thinks their work is the most important. Teachers expect you to stay in school doing extra curricular till the night and then expect you to get good marks in the test the next day too. There are so many people doing better and better that to stand out you need to do even better than better. In today's world you need to be perfect. 

Is perfect possible? I don't think it is. I count myself as an optimist but there are moments like this where I feel more like a realist. Then I redefine my meaning of an optimist. I believe an optimist is a person who has moments like this. They have completely dark moments too. Optimists however are those people who despite it all, are able to truly laugh sincerely after such moments. 

Then again hope remains huh? We're all a bunch of chemicals anyway that have somehow developed a conscience. How is that possible? It's crazy how bits of chemicals make us all act and feel a particular thing. It's one of the reasons I love biology and one of the reasons I love animals. 

Humans are flawed. Greatly flawed. It's in their genes. Most people look down on animals because they don't seems as intelligent or clever or have the same capabilities we do but I envy them. I believe they are genetically better than us. After all, they're not the ones destroying themselves and all those around them. They have problems too of course but I think we have more. 

Maybe we would have been better off as a monkey. Maybe we should have stuck with trees. But then science says our bodies seem to be getting better. But what is science really? Something molecules in our head made up. But it's fascinating. These molecules think they're fascinating. This is crazy. It's philosophy. 

The bottom line is its all in our genes and environment. Genetics is the reason I believe in fate and destiny. It's all preceded in these molecules. The world can be explained through science. I think philosophy will be explained someday too. I can't wait.  

Why today?

Honestly, I had been delaying this first post simply because I couldn't think of any good way to start. Introductions and back stories sound so weird when I doubt anybody will be reading this anyway (except maybe the select few close friends I've told about this blog *waves at friends*). Anyway, for some strange reason I had a gut feeling to start today.



Maybe it's because my day's been pretty disappointing and I want to start something positive to keep my morale up. To tell you about my bad day though, I will have to go into some back story.

So, once upon a time there was a little girl. She loved animals as much as all little girls do, laughing and jumping with the doggies. Both her parents believed in being well rounded. She was signed up for swimming, skating , tennis, dance, instruments and all kinds of activities. Above all though, this little girl loved to read and she loved fantasy, fairytale and fiction. Her mother had started reading alphabet books to her even before she could speak. She begged for pets when she was six and her parents relented, getting two little dalmation puppies. She loved them with all her heart, played with them, walked them, taught them little tricks.



Yet, that was not when being a veterinarian clicked.

As she grew up more, so did her book choices. She went through the usual customary Enid Blyton phase but strangely, got stuck there. She was set in her schedule. She'd tried out practically all the sports and her favorites were swimming and tennis. She swam in the morning, played tennis thrice a week, went for dance class the other two days, played with her dogs in the grass, and read the same Enid Blyton books again and again.



She studied hard and was at the top of her class. She absolutely adored maths. She had been ranked second in her entire school in the subject. She had been made sports captain in fifth grade. She dreamed of being an architect. She would design homes and make beautiful structures and arches and measure it all with her amazing math skills.

Then senior school happened. It wasn't so bad, just a dip in her marks but it did bring about a huge change. She started disliking math. Drawing wasn't intersting, designing wasn't fun. She did finally moved past her Enid Blyton stage and took up other books. She started swimming competitively and her water polo improved.



It was also around this time that she discovered Animal Ark. Sure, it was quite late and she was a bit old for them but they were cute and she had missed the phase because of her obcession.  The moment she picked up the first book, there was no turning back. Mandy reached out, grabbed her hand and dragged her into the world of animals. Animals jumped, they pranced, they slithered, they glided, they were everywhere! Oh but they weren't always safe. James and Mandy helped the animals, they kept them safe. She wanted to do it too. Mandy wanted to be a vet and so did she. She wanted to help animals and she wowed she would never watch an animal suffer and not do something about it.



It was after this that she started noticing the strays around her. So many animals but she was still so young. She made do with sneaking out bits of roti, bread and milk. She started noting her own dogs more, she studied their behavior. If you tried turning off the television in the middle of Meercat Manor or any big cats show, she would turn into a big cat herself snd yowl your head off. This ambition gave her determination. She knew it was a hard career and she knew from all her research on the net that she would have to pick up her marks.



She did manage to get them up and got a perfect score in science in 10th grade. 11th came around and she struggled but preserved. 12th grade came and so did the pressure.

And here the girl is now, not so young any more, volunteering at an animal shelter and interning at a veterinary clinic. She feels the pressure, she knows what she has to do. She knows how hard she has to work. She just needs to keep her motivation.



My bad day? Oh yeah.

So I mentioned I swam and played water polo competitively right? In 12th grade we have captains and vice captians of our team and I found out today that I'm being made vice captian of Waterpolo even though I play better than the girl who's going to be made captian. It's not completely unfair though, she has been to more nationals than me but that's the work of circumstance rather than skill.



Then, right after that, I found out we (my friends and I) lost this research project award we had taken part in. Two months of hard work went into that project and yet we lost. It was quite disappointing.

I suppose there are better notes to start a blog on but I like to be well balanced in my day's emotions and this does help me accept my disappointments quite a bit.

My next post will have details about all the places I've applied to/ will apply to and my order of choices and why.



Hopefully, I'll start typing the next post in a better mood than I started this one on.

Later,
JoAT